


Peter and Wade’s Strange Sex Adventures

by Vixen13



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:48:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25583116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixen13/pseuds/Vixen13
Summary: A series of mostly interconnected stories about the strange, comedic, or unusual things Peter and Wade get up to in their alone time. There is no plot, just a new scene of nonsense smut each chapter.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 16
Kudos: 111





	Peter and Wade’s Strange Sex Adventures

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably update erratically. I've had the idea for a long while now but was given a challenge that I decided to use as the first chapter, so here we are. If you have any weird/rare kinky/sexy things you've always wanted to see the boys do, leave a comment. No promises, but I'll do my best to come up with something eventually!

It started with Wade singing along to Pentatonix.

Wade liked to sing along to most music, and his limited vocal range did not stop him. He had jumped around to sing every part on multiple Pentatonix songs plenty of times in the past. For the most part, Peter could tune it out. He always had music going when working on various projects, so Wade dancing around the apartment and singing along didn’t distract him. Today was unique, however, since Wade abruptly switched gears and began singing along to the beatboxer.

Peter paused what he was doing and turned to watch as Wade shimmed in place, hands jerking around with excitement, as he proceeded to not only beatbox but do it well. He didn’t stop until he saw Peter watching, the air zurbitting past his lips like a deflating balloon.

“What?” Wade asked, eyes wide.

“I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Oh!” He perked back up immediately, happy to boast about his skill. “Don’t worry, I forgot I could too until the urge struck and I tried and then remembered that I knew how and just rolled with it.” He grinned wide, all white teeth in a scarred face. He never wore his mask around the house anymore, which Peter appreciated.

“It’s cool,” Peter said, smirking as Wade relished the praise. “It’s like you can hit lower bass notes than normal, too.”

Wade nodded sagely. “It’s mostly just humming while moving your tongue around. Ha! That’s probably why I’m so good at sucking cock.”

Peter rolled his eyes as Wade laughed, but they paused at the same moment, something they accomplished only because they shared one horny brain cell between the two of them. They took a moment to think about it, the music around them continuing on, oblivious to the abrupt sexual tension in the room. Peter and Wade’s eyes met.

“Have you ever…” Peter left the rest hanging.

“Haven’t had the opportunity,” Wade admitted with a shrug.

More staring.

Peter forced out a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, if you think about it, you need all that room in your mouth in order to make the noises and control airflow. It totally wouldn’t work. Weird thought, though, right?” He whirled back around in his desk chair to face his computer.

He just needed to get his mind back on track instead of lost in pervy thoughts. Once upon a time, he’d been good at that. Wade was a bad influence. Now that they were having sex, every stupid, pervy comment that came out of Wade’s mouth had Peter _thinking_ about it instead of brushing it aside like he used to. Stupid Wade for being _too_ creative in bed.

The song changed, thankfully, to some obscure rock band he listened to years ago, and Peter forced his mind back to his work. That lasted all of five seconds before his chair was being whirled around a little too fast. He stuck himself to the seat and armrests out of instinct and scowled at Wade when he came to a swaying stop. “I have to work. I told you, no dancing until I get this done.”

“Oh, I got a much better idea,” Wade declared as he dropped to his knees.

Like a Paplovian response, Peter was sporting a half chub in an instant. “Wade, seriously, I should really— Oh, fuck.”

Wade was strong. It felt like a silly thing to forget given the man’s build and stature, but Peter was so much stronger than most people he knew, so it slipped his mind regularly. It always came as a shock when Wade casually displayed that strength, easily hefting Peter over a shoulder or lifting him straight up into the air. So when Wade picked Peter up from the chair, slipped his shorts and boxers down, and then deposited Peter’s ass right on the edge, it was totally unexpected, even though it shouldn’t have been.

It was also incredibly hot _._

Peter bit his lip as he watched his clothes go sailing across the room before two large hands shoved his thighs apart. His fingers dug into the arm rests of his chair. He should be rolling away, he knew, or smacking Wade over the head, or simply insisting that they could wait until his work was done. He didn’t, though, because he never could say no to this.

It wasn’t just Wade who had been single for a long time, after all. Peter was still in his prime and boosted from the spider bite. If given the opportunity, he could fuck all day. In fact, they had once. Marathon sex sounds great on paper, and is kinda awesome during the act, but healing powers or no, they had been exhausted and wrung out afterwards. The next day had been a Netflix marathon with no _chilling_ involved.

“Mmm, someone’s happy to see me,” Wade said, grinning down at Peter’s steadily filling prick. He could have dove in immediately, and it would have been amazing, but Wade was nothing if not a dedicated lover.

Peter had thought he’d understood what foreplay was prior to Wade. He was wrong. Wade loved to kiss and nip at Peter’s thighs, his warm hands caressing slow and lingering over all these little places Peter hadn’t known were so sensitive. A teasing nibble on his hip bone, a brush of thumb in the crease of his groin, filthy kisses trailing down his inner thigh, all of it ramping Peter up until his nerves were on edge, his brain was fried, and any concerns about his work deadlines were long gone.

Now, Peter could have begged Wade for more, but he’d learned the hard way not to do that. “More” was a bit open-ended, and Wade’s mind could take that in any direction. Peter had once been edged so long he swore his brain melted out his ears. It was a lesson he’d learned the hard way more times than he cared to admit. He wasn’t good about remembering things or explaining details when his mind was being blown by Wade’s mouth and hands. So, he kept his jaw firmly clenched as he moaned and writhed in Wade’s grip and hoped for the best.

Eventually, Peter’s patience was rewarded. Wade’s lips traveled teasingly up the underside of Peter’s now very erect dick. Peter sucked in a hard breath through his nose and resisted the urge to grab Wade’s head and fuck his mouth. Wade wouldn’t stop Peter, sure, but letting Wade have his way always resulted in the best blowjobs of Peter’s life.

 _He’s trained me,_ a small part of Peter lamented. The rest of Peter didn’t actually care.

“Have I ever mentioned that you have a beautiful dick?” Wade asked, sounding far more level headed than he had any right to be.

“Buhhh,” was Peter’s intelligent response. Before he could attempt anything more than that, Wade’s mouth slid into place, lips wrapping tight around Peter’s cockhead and tongue swirling with gusto.

Peter only managed to not thrust upwards because he’d stuck his ass to the seat. The chair itself did hop a bit off the floor, but Wade’s steady hands on his thighs kept him from rolling away. Peter's toes squeaked against the hardwood as he tensed up, blown away by sensation. Wade’s tongue always felt _so_ good, so wet and hot and putting pressure in all the right places.

“Ohhh, fuck,” Peter moaned, the only words he knew how to form at the moment.

Wade bobbed his head, spreading spit in an even layer to make it easier to take all of Peter down. It was unusual for Wade to try and deepthroat so early into a blowjob. Of course, that mystery was solved the moment Wade opened his throat, took Peter down, and then _hummed._ Peter made the most embarrassing, high-pitched choking noise in response.

Then, Wade dropped a good two octaves and did it again.

Something on the armrest of Peter’s chair snapped, but he barely noticed. His eyes rolled back in his head as he shivered all over. The deep hum rattled up his cock and into his groin in the same way a vibrator did. It crawled along the inside of his skin in little pops of pleasure and then proceeded to shoot a bolt of something white-hot up his spine.

Wade pulled back with a squelching slurp, swirled his tongue, dove back in, and did it again. Peter was flushed and panting by this point, and they’d barely even started. He could hardly concentrate on the way Wade was moving up and down, humming and pressing with his tongue as if testing something. Peter didn’t remember why they were doing this until Wade abruptly figured out what it was he was trying to accomplish.

Sink down, hum a deep bass, slide up, and press with the back of the tongue until only the head remains, tap tap tap with the tip of the tongue before curling around the shaft and sinking down with a sliding scale back into the deep hum. It was slow at first until Wade got the hang of it, then he was speeding up, backing off, testing different combinations and rhythms.

Then there were hands. One was wrapped around the base of Peter’s cock, but now the thumb there was rubbing back and forth along the underside in a competing beat. The other hand cupped Peter’s balls, fingers bouncing rapidly like they were trying to trill.

Wait. Trill? Why had Peter assumed they were trying to—

The music in the room filtered into Peter’s consciousness once more. That’s what the beat was doing. Wade was mimicking it. The beat matched, the tones were synching up, Wade’s tongue was tapping and dragging in time to the drums. And _oh fuck_! Wade sucked with every crash of the symbol. Peter had never in his life wanted a drummer to go wild on the symbols quite like he did currently.

In a way, this was silly. A blow job in time to music? Beatboxing around dick? What a mess. There was drool everywhere, terrible slurping noises, and it felt nothing like what Peter knew Wade’s mouth could be.

However, Wade was far better at this than he had any right to be. It made every note played over the speakers something lewd, the music itself rattling through Peter and blending with the pulsing pleasure coursing through him. It was like every nerve in his body was being teased and stimulated.

The worst part was how erratic it was. Even though the music made the next act somewhat predictable, it wasn’t the constant building pressure Peter craved. Instead, it was bits and flashes of pleasure, all of them bringing him high and then dropping him lower in less than a second. His legs began to tremble, his breathing erratic. His entire focus was on that tight coil inside of him that just couldn’t seem to climb to that peak, not in the way he wanted.

He abruptly thought about the sound bars in an audio spectrum visualizer, how they would bounce around to the beat of the music in an array of flashing colors. It felt like Wade had placed such a thing in Peter’s body, allowing it to wreak havoc on Peter’s libido. Bits and pieces of Peter surged high before dropping again, his whole body twitching with the intensity of it, all the while that deep rumble kept creeping up his spine.

Some other plastic piece on the chair broke, though Peter couldn’t discern what it was.

Tap, drag, tap tap tap, suck, hum, tap. Over and over, building and easing, shooting straight through Peter’s cock and firing signals through his whole body. The music crescendoed, Peter’s legs pulled up off the floor, his toes curling. The drumming beat took over, Wade’s tongue flicking and sucking in time, and Peter’s mouth dropped open on a silent shout of pleasure. The song eased away with deep vocals, Wade sank down and hummed bass along with the tune, Peter’s breath caught in his throat.

 _So close, so close, so close._ His whole focus was on tightening his muscles, desperate to reach the goal he wanted, his body screaming for release.

With one more swirl from the pad of Wade’s thumb on the sensitive nerve near the root of Peter’s cock, he came. His body jerked forward and curled around Wade’s head, the chair clacking as Peter shook through the intensity of it and shot down Wade’s throat. It felt like it went on forever, Wade swallowing around Peter’s cock to milk it of all it was worth.

Finally, Peter collapsed back into the chair, breathing hard as he blindly stared at the ceiling. His whole body felt like jello. Wade slurped his way off Peter’s cock, and it strangely sounded just as lewd as the innocuous music still filling the room. Wade rested his slobbery chin on Peter’s knee and grinned wide, uncaring about how much spit had dripped down his neck during that venture.

“Looks like someone had fun,” Wade said with a cheeky, self-satisfied grin.

Peter blinked down at his boyfriend for a long few moments, one hand idly brushing along Wade’s temple, causing the merc to almost purr. Gathering his wits, Peter finally replied, “You’re not allowed to beatbox whenever I’m within earshot in public. Ever.”

Wade opened his mouth—

“Or when around anyone we know in private.”

Wade closed his mouth and jutted his bottom lip out in an impressive pout. “You’re no fun.”

“You owe me a new office chair.”

Wade shrugged one shoulder. “That’s fair.”

“Good.” Peter pulled Wade up by the back of the neck and kissed him thoroughly, not even minding how wet his face became or the taste of himself still lingering on Wade’s tongue. When they finally pulled back, Peter offered a wicked smile. “Now fuck me on this chair until we destroy it completely so I have an excuse to put this project off until tomorrow.”

That caused Wade to perk up immediately, a giant grin overtaking his face. “Sir, yes, sir!”

**Author's Note:**

> http://thatvixenchick.tumblr.com  
> https://twitter.com/The_Vixen13 (nsfw)


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